That was only one of the thoughts that passed through my Mom’s mind as she began her adventures with cable internet this week (until now, she has had only AOL dial-up service).  I was glad that I was able to be there to help her.  When I told her this she said, “Oh, I wouldn’t have dared try it without you.  I would be too afraid of breaking it.” (And, by “it,” she does mean the entire world wide web ). Her experience started out quite well when she got the better of “the man” (well, “the man who represented the sales department of Comcast”) by getting this upgrade and an upgrade on her phone service for less than she had previously paid and, when the introductory deal wore off, it would still be equal to the monthly cost of her old services.

The trouble started when the installation guy came.  Now, I thought that these guys were more in the customer service department than in sales, but this guy was pulling every trick in the book on my poor, frazzled Momma to get into her wallet.  She had made a decision on where she wanted her cable jack and new phone jack would be, but the guy convinced her to put it somewhere else (mostly because it would same HIM some effort!).  This was all he could do though.  He tried to get her to have a second cable jack installed or a wireless modem box.  He said that the wireless box would be $100 but that he would have to come back to install it because he didn’t have one with him (this would not only be an outrageous price but it would be another service visit).  When my mom asked about wireless modems in the store, he said that they are about $50 (true…) but that she would still need someone to come out and install it and that would be another service fee.  (That last part was outrageous as I’ve set one of those things up myself!).

Well, she didn’t fall for it, but after making all those decisions and not understanding too much about the technology she was having installed, she was a little stressed out.  I came over later that day to help her re-learn how to use the internet.  She was used to AOL and its browser, so Firefox and Internet Explorer were a little intimidating.  At this point, I had to explain to her the difference between the internet, a browser, and email.  I was actually quite proud of my explanation.  It went something like this:

The internet is like a whole bunch of computers (explaining servers would have just added to the confusion) sitting in a room somewhere that nobody uses.  When you have AOL or Comcast or some other service provider, you are purchasing access to those computers and the information stored on them; however, computers speak binary, meaning the information is all stored in 1’s and 0’s.  Since we don’t understand it, we need a program (browser) to translate those numbers into words and pictures.  AOL had a specific program to use, but with most internet, you can choose between several programs.  An email address is just a portion of memory on the internet that is devoted to you for sending and receiving messages and can only be accessed with your password.  Many internet providers also provide email addresses, but the two are not the same thing.

At this point, we went to get on the internet and it didn’t work.  My mom and my sister both have laptops, so when they want to be on the internet, they have to plug their laptops in.  I called Comcast Customer Service and explained my problem.  The lady started walking me through some steps and I said, “I don’t think this will address my problem.”  “Just stay with me for a minute here,” she responded.  Her process didn’t work.  That is because she was trying to set up my Mom’s laptop for wireless internet!  I explained my problem again and, again, she led me through a process that didn’t work–she was trying to set up a network between the two laptops.  I made one final effort to explain my problem.  “Oh,” she said and led me through a quick and easy process.  She was in such a hurry to get done helping me that she didn’t listen.  I wonder how quickly we could have finished if she had just listened the first time!

And the story doesn’t end there.  Actually, we’re just getting started, because now we’re to the point where I was showing my mom how to use Firefox.  She caught on a lot quicker than either of us expected, but I think we will still have a few review sessions.  I’m really proud of her.  Read on for some of the more amusing points in our conversation.